just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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