i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
