Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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