Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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