She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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