Whoa Z and x make the same sound
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
