i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize