On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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