suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
