For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
