I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
