Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
