So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
