no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
