"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
