I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
