either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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