Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
