I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
