Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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