Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
