I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize