I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
how drunk are you?
Several
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
