Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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