i may or may not be watching the land before time
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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