I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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