At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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