South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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