So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
if only i could text you this smell
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
