What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
