Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
