real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize