mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
