Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
