I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
