this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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