Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
