okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
is wine microwaveable?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
