Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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