Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
the raccoons are back...
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
