Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
