You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
