Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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