Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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