I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Too much gin, very little bucket
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
