i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
