Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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