Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
