Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
