i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
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