uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
