I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
