i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
