if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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